After Pakistan’s gloriously forgettable 3-0 drubbing at the hands of New Zealand, skipper Mohammad Rizwan pulled out his mental eraser and scrubbed the memory clean faster than Pakistan’s middle order collapses. In what can only be described as a masterclass in selective amnesia, Rizwan told reporters, “Let’s just focus on PSL, shall we?”
Because nothing says “I’ve moved on” like pretending your team didn’t just get outplayed in all three departments — even the imaginary ones.
“Babar played well, scoring two fifties,” Rizwan said, clinging to Babar’s stats like a lifebuoy in the sea of mediocrity. “New Zealand were better in all three departments,” he added, generously handing over compliments like he hands out dot balls in pressure overs.
When asked if this was Pakistan’s best performance of the tour, Rizwan offered a Zen-like shrug: “If you lose, you can’t say much.” That’s one way to say, “Please don’t replay the highlights.”
But forget Bay Oval. The real dream now lies in PSL Season 10, the magical land where Pakistan’s heroes transform overnight — because obviously, a few TikTok promos, some neon kits, and a couple of sixes in Karachi will erase the trauma of a failed run chase.
“We’ll leave the past behind,” Rizwan declared, as if the Champions Trophy heartbreak and this series flop were bad Tinder dates he’s ghosting. “Hopefully, PSL will give the people something to cheer about.” And if not, hey — there’s always Ramadan cricket in the streets.
Meanwhile, the actual match went just as you’d expect: Pakistan began their chase with Imam-ul-Haq channeling his inner action hero by retiring hurt mid-run. Usman Khan came in like a guest star and left just as quickly. Babar Azam played the classic lead role — a stylish fifty with no sequel. Rizwan got 37, which is great if you’re bowling, not batting.
The rest? Picture a game of Jenga in a wind tunnel. One by one, the blocks fell. Faheem Ashraf tried to cameo but got canceled in 3 balls. Naseem Shah hit a few runs for the aesthetic, but it was all too late.
As for New Zealand? Rhys Mariu and Michael Bracewell batted like men with dinner reservations and no interest in making it complicated. They stitched up Pakistan with a calm 264, which in hindsight was at least 43 runs too many.
So what now for Pakistan?
Time to slap on the franchise jersey, crank up the PSL anthem, and pretend this whole “international cricket” thing didn’t happen. Because in the words of Captain Rizwan:
“We move on.”
And by move on, we mean: PSL yaaaaar!
